Stuffed Crocodile

Mazes, Martians, Mead

The Hobbit: Observations

So, the Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey… too good to really be bad, too sedate and full of padding to really be good. Comes out as mediocre. Fans of the LOTR movies might like it. I didn’t like the movies so much even though I loved the books, so this one left my kind of cold as well. Some observations:

1. I don’t think there was ever a better presentation of dwarves in film than this one. These dwarves are earnest and melancholic, but also able to lose themselves in food, drink, and song. And nearly all the actors were chosen perfectly for their roles.

2. Radagast the Brown has, if I remember correctly, about 4 pages in the whole of the Hobbit, LOTR, and Unfinished Tales. You might not think so when seeing this here. On the one hand I am a fan of Sylvester McCoy and like him in every role for the  sheer presence he manages to show, on the other hand this was basically a Doctor Who/Hobbit crossover.

3. A rabbit sled. A rabbit sled without snow. A rabbit sled without snow that can outrun wargs. Brain hurts.

4. Martin Freeman is perfect for his role, although I slowly suspect he just always plays the same role. His Bilbo is kinda close to his Watson. And come to think of it: his Arthur Dent as well. Also: why always book adaptions?

5. They are now making three movies out of the book. This movie was as long as one of the LOTR movies. There was a lot of padding and sedate moments involved. A lot of padding. All of the padding was somehow grounded in the writings of Tolkien, but it felt kinda odd to have flashback after flashback to what happened back then, whenever.

6. 3D needs to die. We weren’t even in a 3D showing. Me and my colleagues decided to go to a 2D showing because we didn’t want to wear the 3D glasses over our normal glasses. Did it help? Well, every time there was a scene that showed something that might look absolutely AMAZING in the 3D version the whole picture blurred and we saw, basically, just some shapes. So 3D is even ruining movies when you watch them in 2D. Not that that was a surprise. You know these stupid scenes when they tried to show how awesome their CGI was in the early 90s? They do the same things with 3D right now, only people watching it in 2D don’t even see it. They notice that something awesome is happening though. After all the picture just got blurry and they don’t see what’s going on right now.

Bonus: for some reason the cinema we were at found it necessary to show two different trailers for “The Impossible”. The “extraordinary true story” about a group of rich and very white tourists who experience the 2004 tsunami. Seeing it once made me cringe, seeing the second trailer I wanted to puke and sign a petition barring the leeches responsible for this piece of shit from ever making a movie again.


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